Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Pizza and Beer

Do any other substances go so well? Socks and shoes, saunas and sex (please for future reference people, if you have sex in the sauna, if you see someone have sex in the sauna, if you even hear about it, I don't want to know!), lesbians and cats (we're back to matching things again), balls and bats (*evil grin*), love and marriage (damn you John Howard *shakes fist*). Well, you get the idea.

My mate (lets call him 'inappropriate humour man' - or IHM for short) is home alone while his wife and kids are in Melbourne *cue violin music.* I find the poor bum in the freezer section of our local 'supermarket' (just so you know in a town this size it's more like a convenience store in size and selection). I kindly invited to my place for tea, and almost instantly regret it. Why, when he makes an inappropriate comment involving joining me in the shower, do people blame me? And no, I have no idea how he managed to make the conversation take that direction. It's his gift!

He bought beer and it was palies (Cooper's Pale Ale) so all was forgiven. Until next time. Because there will be a next time. You know that line? That line where you stop with jokes, comments, information about your sex life? He has no line! *muted scream*

Other than that tea was good. Delicious if I do say so myself, and because I don't truck with this modesty business I will say so. Hey, when you're as badly off as me you learn to make the most of your good points =). Tikka Masala and my ham and pineapple pizza - definitely good points. Though, as I've said before, it's all about the sauce =).

Tikka Masala Pizza
Tikka masala was one sliced breast cooked up in a jar of instant sauce (when it comes to Indian food I cheat! I just spread a pizza base (cheating again) with mango chutney, put the cooked masala chicken on top and put the whole thing in the oven. When it's done (about 15 minutes later) top with sour cream or plain (not vanilla) yoghurt and coriander.

Ham and Pineapple Pizza
Should be self explanatory. Use good ingredients! - mozzarella cheese and real (not processed) ham. The secret sauce! Well, you wink a little, then you...*clears throat,* ah oops, wrong sauce.

Pizza sauce is easy, it's tomato paste and a nearly equal amount of olive oil with some dried 'italian herbs' and a teaspoon or so of 'garlic in a jar' (the lazy cook's best friend). Spread this thickly on the base, add some cheese, lots of ham and pineapple, more 'Italian herbs,' and another layer of cheese. This will take 15-20 minutes to cook. The cheese should have just started to go brown.

I managed to time it so that both pizzas were done at the same time, ready for the second beer to be cracked. This order is better - cook, then drink. The other way... well the cooking, if it happens, and definitely the evening, can get messy, but that's for another story. In this story it was a good evening, good food, and IHM was great company, even though I sometimes had to threaten violence to keep him in line. =)

Sorry folks. We didn't even pretend to be healthy last night. I guess the salad will have to wait. Take care,


*yes, in a town of 400 people we have a sauna. It's at the gym. A great gym, recently upgraded and membership is $60 for 3 months. Just thought I'd make you all jealous =p. Oh, we also have a bowling alley and karaoke every Friday night, still jealous? I thought so *thumbs nose*


365 Days said...

MmMmmMmm Ham and Pineapple pizza sounds pretty yummy right now.

morinn said...

so did you have the shower with him? lol! i like your style! it's so totally i don't give a damn about you readers! love it!

Taz said...

365 - it is! Give it a go, or not, but when you make pizza DON'T use tomato sauce. It's blasphemy. =)

Thanks Morinn. Of course not. He's married, and male *shudders* I did drink his beer though =).

eagerblogger said...

I'm for ham and pineapple pizza.

Taz said...

I should have made pizza to try and entice more readers then EB =).

Oh, and morinn. What do you mean don't give a damn =(. I care! =p

Lifecode Sotre said...

need to learn from the guy... he is really an excellence IHM... hehehe

Lifecode Sotre said...

need to learn from the guy... he is really an excellence IHM... hehehe

Lonely hurts

Taz said...

Lifecode sotre - no you don't! There are enough IHMs around, we don't need any more, especially skilled ones.

Dani - nice spammage of your blog =p. You should at lest pretend to have read my blog and make some kind of comment =).

awannabe said...

I always get a Mocha Starbucks frappuchino with a taquito from 7-11.

In elementary school I dipped my french fries in vanilla ice cream.

Lifecode Sotre said...

I actually read the whole post.. just that I have not much thing to comment at that moment.. I'm sorry.. I just wonder that how he manage to ask you that question? getting into shower with him.. he is so daring..


Taz said...

Gah! Sorry Dani. You totally did a good commnt. I just winged past and only saw your name. I thought dani and lifetime - 2 different people.

I fail at comments. =) Thanks for reading.

IHMs still suck though =p. And they always pick on me. What's up with that? I'm not that dipsy am I?

m38967 said...

A pineapple, tomato, and mushroom pizza is awesome. nice blog. Found you on blog catalog. See ya around. Missy.

Taz said...

Thanks M38967 - now that's a tricksy name =S. I love mushrooms on pizza myself. Your version is vego and I wonder if that's by choice, or you just like vego pizza (I do too, though usually there are sundried tomatoes, etc, too =))

Dani - he has a lot of nerve. But people are just naturally drawn to picking on me.