Bombed!

Funnily enough when I told my fantastic 'women are better than men' jokes to the fellas they bombed!

Though the lesbian joke I told did OK. Not as well as the one from the joke book though =(. I still think mine's funnier, though it could be that I suck at telling jokes.

From the book: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
We do taste like chicken.

Mine: Let me tell you a little story about two lesbians:

They were golfing and and they both hit their golf balls. One went to the left and the other to the right.

The first lesbian walked over to where she hit the ball and found that she'd hit it into a patch of buttercups. She continued to play golf and hit it out of the patch of buttercups. In doing so she also messed up the patch of buttercups.

A woman appeared out of nowhere and said, "I am Mother Nature, and you destroyed my buttercups. For punishment you will no longer be able to stand the taste of butter. In fact you will get very sick if you even have just a little taste." The woman disappeared just as quickly as she appeared.

A little shaken up she called to the other woman to ask "Where did your ball go?"
She said "It's over here in this patch of pussy willows."
"No! Don't hit that ball, whatever you do, don't hit that ball."

Hehe! Love that joke.

Though possibly the biggest laugh came the next day from my entirely innocent comment about loving fish and seafood. One of my co-workers just started laughing. Then the other guy did too. Cracking up, though I think that was possibly my (very slow, it took me a while to get it) reaction as well. =/ Bastards! (that's said with a grin and in love). It was funny.

I'm off to get fed at the local takeaway now. Yum! Nothing like grease after a big night out. A mate and I are starting a 'let's cut back on the drinking' pact next week, but I'm going to make the most of this hangover while I have it. It may be my last for some time. =)

I finally get it!

Blogging! And why so many people use their blogs to rant. It's very tempting right now to just spew forth about the things that are bugging me. But you know what, I'm not going to, because, lets face it, who'd want to read it?

Besides, life's actually pretty good right now, and dwelling on bad stuff (that's its technical name) would be pointless, and self defeating (god, it sounds like I swallowed a self-help book - onwards and upwards, lets follow the road less travelled, etc - actually I loved that book ('the road less travelled'), but I think that's because I tried to read it during schoolies week, and was totally toasted at the time. Read sober it's much less insightful.

It's great to be back at work (just had 2 weeks holidays - woohoo!). The last few days have been really good, the sun's been shining, the birds are singing (well, not really, but 'the crows are cawing' doesn't sound as upbeat really, in fact it sounds kind of creepy). Working with the fellas has been great.

That said though the lovely fellas aren't as funny as they think they are =(. One of the lads bought his 'Australian Joke Book' to work yesterday. Apparantly Aussie humour requires a whole chapter of chauvinist jokes =(. I'm not sure what this says about our culture, but I'm pretty certain it's not good. I even laughed at some of them *hangs head in shame* - but just because they were that bad, not coz they were funny, I swear! Do I have to hand back my lesbian membership card now? *puppy dog face*

Not to mention I couldn't think of a single joke to bring the blokes down? See, lesbians don't hate men. I certainly spend less time dissing the fellas than a lot of straight girls I know =). So now I'm educating myself and spending smoko googling for some sexist jokes to put them back into their place. Yeah! If I'm back soon you'll know I got sacked for sexual harassment =). Wish me luck!



PS Here are some jokes.
My favourite

Three men are out hiking, but their way is blocked by a raging river. The first prays 'dear lord, please give me the courage to cross this river.' He then jumps into the river and swims to the other side, arriving exhausted but safe. The second man prays 'lord, give me the strength to cross this river.' He spies a boat and also crosses the river safely. The third man prays 'lord, give me the intelligence to cross this river.' God turns him in to a woman, and she walks across the bridge.